Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
