on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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