Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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