I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
