also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
