Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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