I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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