i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
nutella sex= disaster
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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