Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
