I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
