I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
