hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
