I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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