There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach