I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights