It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.