you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
