never play flip cup with pint glasses
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices