Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.