You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
do herpes really smell.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic