Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.