Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
