I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
