can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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