I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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