how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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