I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
