i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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