I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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