you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
