I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
