I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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