Having a random hookup so left but love u
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
