just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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