I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
