I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize