I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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