What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
