I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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