i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
