Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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