The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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