I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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