At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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