what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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