By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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