I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
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Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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