Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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