I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
