he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
