dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
