i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
