I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize