Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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