i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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