I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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