My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it because I queefed?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
