I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The adults are the big ones right?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
