who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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